How I Got Here

In the course of my reflections I have found that the world is a big confusing place.  I regularly return to three distinct lines of thought concerning: my place in the world, my relationships with others and how I got where I am.  These thoughts are my touchstone in many ways and I think of them as if I am looking for something solid on which to stand.  I don’t think these thoughts all at the same time either.  I have found that they happen at specific times in my day and life.  I often wonder about my place in the world when traveling from place to place or cleaning my room.  I think about my personal relationships while looking at my emails or paying for coffee.  Regarding that last reflection, how I got here I daily lie in bed wondering how I got here.

I value these thoughts because the fact that I have to ask myself about these things indicates that I am addressing my concerns.  While constantly juggling responsibilities, I have found that I have had a modicum of success in my endeavors and though time constraints tend to inhibit budding relationships but they don’t necessarily die or disappear and they always return.  However, I understand that I need to be focused, prompt and on point in keeping these responsibilities.

Concerning the last reflection, I have lived in so many places the Sierra, Humboldt, Spain, China, Los Angeles and finally San Francisco.  When I think about where I am—as opposed to who or what—my conclusions always depend on how comfortable I am in my current location.  For instance, Yosemite is so idyllic and Madrid bustling.  Long Beach seemed the epitome of Babylon.  However, lately I’ve been waking up to a new thought: how nice it is to be home.

I started writing this on 082012.

This is an occasional series chronicling my life. This Notebook Analysis series is meant to be contemporaneous piece developed as an aglomeration of my notebook pages.  In each of these posts I used my notes to develop my recent thoughts.