Her Truck Moving Stuff

I wrote that I rode the bike to PHill and boarded with the bike.  I got off at Embarcadero.  I had already been having misgivings but by the time I had arrived at Kathryn’s house I was upset.  I told her I was “not happy.”  Thankfully no one had arrived yet.  I sat for a while holding my tongue but eventually she asked me to help her break stuff down.  I asked her why I was not enough for her.  This opened up a discussion of many things.  We were taking her bed apart.  She needed me to hold something while she pried the rest apart.  She had said that I had a negative outlook that was self-serving.  I had heard this before.  We ended up in an adversarial conversation that I had no interest in continuing.

I wrote that I had stepped back then and explained that there were tons of things that I think about her but don’t share because they were not appropriate.  She asked for examples and I said this wasn’t my point.  I explained that my black moods are not good for her to experience.  We discussed some of these things and her position was becoming entrenched.  Eventually she came to understand that I didn’t like sharing it we her because I saw it as a threat to the relationship.  She slowly came to realize that I hid thinks from her to keep the relationship together.

It was around then that Jessica and Michael came in.  We stared with boxes and then furniture.  Michael almost loaded some of Charlie’s stuff.  There were mirrors and there was the bed.  I said that the mattress might be better in the room for the time being but Kathryn ruled that out.

I wrote that she spent a lot of time in her truck moving stuff.  Jess watched it while Mike and I did the moving.  I had to rest for a bit.  Eventually we had everything.  Jessica took pics and Kathryn, Mike and I went to Giordano’s.  The Giants were winning.  Kathryn said that Charlie was at the game.  We talked about bands and Pittsburg.  There was a bachelor party and a band setting up.  Michael eventually got ready to leave and Kathryn and I said bye and walked to her house.  There we had a long conversation over whisky.  Norman had hurt himself on something.  We managed to avoid being entrenched in positions.  Kathryn said it wasn’t likely that Charlie would be in.  There were still a few things to pack but we left it till the morning.

I noted that I explained that an interviewer sounds really hostile sometimes because of the way that questions can seem like criticisms.  However, it is the interviewer’s job to draw the interviewee into the conversation.  I told her that in our relationship, in every case between us, in order to as we move forward I would have to accommodate her.  We got very close then.  She definitely cried and I nearly did.

I wrote that hours later she and I decided that Charlie wasn’t coming and occupied his bed.  In the moments before sleep I asked why she had overruled me on putting the bed in the truck and she said because it needed to be packed but she admitted that it could have stayed.  I told her that it seemed that she would often resist me just because she could and that sometimes she may do well to listen instead.  She agreed that she sometimes didn’t care to follow my advice because it was me and no other reason.  I thought this was a minor win.  I relish it because my attempts at collaboration were the subject of our conversation only 45 minutes earlier.  She had said that the way that I suggested working on a shared future was the problem and not her resistance to it.  Jessica texted Kathryn in the middle of the night.

On the morning of the day that I wrote this I got us coffee while she finished packing.  We were cute together like normal but in actuality this was the end.  Norman was cute and we saw Danny Mac.  I kissed her and she got in the van and I rode to Soleil to read the paper.  Jessica posted some stuff and later I rode home.  I had stopped at Swell for the surly.  I noted that I would go there in a bit.  I also noted that Kate McKracken and her best friend were having a party and that I would need to kill the NA at some point over the weekend.

Later I wrote that I went to Swell and rode a trike and then came home.  Mom and dad were back from where they had gone out to.  I got further into the NA and then noted that I was going for dinner and then to Boozeland.

This is series chronicles my life at regular intervals. This Memo series is meant to be a retrospective of what I have written and experienced. In each of these posts I use my notes in conjunction with memory, mementos and souvenirs to create a snap shot of my life.

A Trip to Fairfax

In the middle of the day on April 19^th I left on a trip to Fairfax.  I left late but knew that the place that I chose online was likely an place to stay.  I rode to Golden Gate Park through the Presidio and to the bridge, which, when windy, can be a terrible place to ride.  However, the highway connection to Sausalito was easier than I thought.

I rode through the bay trail to the end of the path and jigged over to the freeway path and at the top I took some photos.  I got one of the sign for the entrance too.  I looked at the directions I printed out all the way through Corte Madera.  In Ross near College of Marin I established that I had gone the right way.  At some point I found San Anselmo and spoke to a bike guy at the Roastery about Gary Fisher.

That night I stayed at a motel in Fairfax, had dinner at Taco Jane’s in San Anselmo and found a strange bar called the Duggout on Sir Francis Drake.  Later I went to Peri’s where I had to pay to see the band and Nave’s which was less interesting but did have more people close to my age.

The next day I went to the Fairfax Roastery on Bolinas and read the paper and then I checked out of my hotel.  I wanted to see the new tunnel between San Rafael and Larkspur but first I looked for Olema Road to check out the entrance of White Hill preserve.  Unfortuantely I think that the better entrance to the preserve may be to take crystal valley.

Later on the way through San Anselmo I followed some cyclists and to San Rafeal where I sat at Royal Grounds and looked at the Ferry Schedule in Larkspur.  I rode to Anderson.  I got a little lost.  When I got to the 101 undercrossing I initially thought the trail was along the rail bed but upon further inspection I found a bike path running up the side.  Underneath the freeway there are three columns that the path goes around.  There is much more room there than what I was prepared to find.

From here I followed a long curve to Cal Park Hill Pathway.  I stopped and took a few photos.  I noted that inside there was a lot of room.  I found that there was a lot of room for riding.  I also found myself wondering how they would get the trains through the second tunnel which has sat for a long time unused.  I was in a rush for the ferry then and missed an opportunity to take a second photo.  I got lost as well.

At the ferry terminal people were already waiting for the boat.  I got on and I started writing in my notebook.

This is an occasional series chronicling my life. This Notebook Analysis series is meant to be contemporaneous piece developed as an agglomeration of my notebook pages. In each of these posts I used my notes to develop my recent thoughts.

Tremendously

I wrote that I made the NA and then cleaned.  I put papers and post cards away and did laundry.  I looked at Craigslist for apartments.  I was asleep at midnight.  I had the kind of dream where my desires were not being fulfilled but then just as I awoke they were.  I think my unconscious is tuned to my schedule in ways that I don’t understand since my alarm was set to go off later than normal.

On the morning I wrote this I woke up late because it was my birthday.

I flipped through my FB and Twitter accounts.  Eventually I saw that Mike Sonn had learned from FB that it was my birthday and posted it to Twitter.  I really appreciated that.  It prompted me to get ready for work.  I rode to the park and Panhandle slowly.  There was a lot of traffic.  On Grove there was a pavement truck in the way.  At Civic I went to the hotel Starbucks and then descended to the station.  Colleen texted a happy birthday.   I had to negotiate with a girl who had an English accent for bicycle space.

At PHill I rode to work thinking about Kathryn.  I miss her tremendously.  When I got the text from Colleen I fantasized that it was her.  I noted that I missed her.

At work everyone wished me a happy birthday.  I was surprised.  One had left a gift card for me on the Friday before and I found when I sat down.  He came in a moment later with donuts.  I went for coffee fretting about Kathryn.  When I came back I had some donuts, made a list of things to do.  Later people made phone calls and I had to look at some computer stuff.

I went to lunch after doing stuff some steps.  There I met a guy named Phill from work.  I went to coffee with the gift card.  Later my supervisor said happy birthday.  That was when I got a text from Kathryn and I said I missed her “tremendously.”

Later I wrote that I left at around 425 and rode to PHill.  The ride was filled with allergies and I had to wait to clear my eyes at PHill.  At Embarcadero I had trouble with the transfer but I made it.  There wasn’t much of a crowd.  Jenny sent me a happy birth day.  I noted that Shaun and I would have a beer later and that Mom was playing happy birthday on the piano.

I went upstairs and had dinner with the family.  We had delicious Pork—I noted that I needed to thank Nora for it.  I ate and then my niece did a dance and sang a bit.  We had cake and I told the little gilr that she needed a stylist.  I went down to get ready to leave.  I said bye to the family and rode Irving to Shamrock.  The bartender Alesha gave us a deal and the Giants beat Atlanta.

This is series chronicles my life at regular intervals. This Memo series is meant to be a retrospective of what I have written and experienced. In each of these posts I use my notes in conjunction with memory, mementos and souvenirs to create a snap shot of my life.

Echo Park to Tarzana

I took a trip to Long Beach for school and while I was there I visited and took pictures of Pedestrian and Bicycle infrastructure along the 101.  I borrowed a bike from my friend Michael and had beers with friends and played a new game called Cards Against Humanity.  After I finished my school stuff I rode my borrowed bike to the Blue Line and caught a train Downtown LA.

The first leg of my journey took me up Fig to Glendale to Laveta Terrace.  The most striking element of this PUC is the 1950 written above both of the regularly painted entrance.  However, I also noticed that there actually is graffiti in some places, the gates on the freeway are falling apart and that the tunnel is dimly lighted.  On the far side I found a ramp, which essentially sits at the foot of Angelino Heights.  This entrance has an at grade view of the freeway and is less prominent.  There is also a grill protecting it from traffic.  The location is a bus stop and there were a lot of people using the location.

I returned to the other side and rode Temple to the Belmont POC and took the time to explore the nearby hospital which used to be connected to the crossing.  Though the crossing on this side has graffiti on the ground the walls of the crossing are mostly free of it.  It starts at the freeway off ramp and rises to a prominently written 1950 where the span begins.  There is ivy growing all over that side.  There are palms on the other side of the span, which is an at-grade cul-de-sac and also features a year.  I saw people using the span and the nearby access to Echo Park proper.

I then rode through the hills of Silver Lake across Alvarado before getting to Sunset.  At Griffith Park Bl I took Santa Monica to Heliotrope.  This is an interesting area which I readily got lost in.  Eventually I crossed Normandie and finally found the Kingsly PUC.  I noticed that this part of East Hollywood is poor in quality.  There were a few people with work trucks standing around and a lot of people passed through.  The crossing seems like it is older than the freeway above it.  There is a 1950 written above this one as well and neither side is very distinct.  There is a park on the south side and many people use the crossing for recreational reasons.  I passed a large group of laughing girls inside on the way back.  When I was done I took the wacky Red Train to Flower and returned to Long Beach where I was staying.  I saw friends and watched karaoke.

The next day, after breakfast, I once again boarded the Blue- and Red- Lines to North Hollywood.  I had a little trouble getting the bike onto the Orange Line but made it to Balboa Park easily enough.  From there I crossed the LA River and braved Burbank to find the Amestoy Crossing.  It is above grade and zig-zags away from Burbank Bl.  It isn’t much different from the Belmont crossing.  The other side is a switch back with a wall.

From here I rode Killion to the Encino Crossing, which is mostly clean of graffiti and is above grade with two large spiral ramps.  The south side looks like a jungle but the other doesn’t.  There is a post in the middle of the entrance and on the crossing you can see the Amestoy crossing.

I then took Burbank to the Etiwanda PUC, which is nest to a culvert.  It has a post similar to Encino but the square above the entrance is missing a year.  There was a lot of trash and the walls inside had a lot of graffiti and there were lights inside.

I passed a hospital and a medical office building near Etiwanda and found the Yolanda Crossing, which is nearly identical to Etiwanda with its entrances, center post and culvert.  However, there were more people and less trash.  From there I rode to the Orange Line at Balboa and transferred to the Redline at NoHo bound for Long Beach and home the next day.

This is an occasional series chronicling my life. This Notebook Analysis series is meant to be contemporaneous piece developed as an agglomeration of my notebook pages. In each of these posts I used my notes to develop my recent thoughts.