She was trying to make the best of Easter Sunday with just dad by making Easter eggs for herself. It was an emotional experience for me and I was a mess. I shared that I had had made many choices in my life because I knew her health was failing.
Mom‘s vision had also been failing and she needed to figure out her checkbook. Dad was helping her. I noted that he was very brusque and that bothered me.
I walked on the Great Highway and happened upon an acquaintance. He and I had a short conversation.
Back home I had dinner with mom and dad and the plan for my friend to pick me up on Easter morning came out.
After she had gone to lay down, I chatted with mom. I mentioned the time when I was seven or eight when I asked her what would happen when she dies. The question I had asked at that time was mostly what I would do when she died, not where she goes. The conversation I had with her really helped alleviate my distress over her state. Later I settled in for a movie in the living room. Mom sat through a little bit of it.
In the morning of the day that I wrote this I woke at 6:30 and Mom made waffles. I checked in on my parents and went downstairs with a cup of coffee.
Later I returned to see mom. We discussed how ineffective change can be. She told me that the effect of change did not negate its necessity. I didn’t feel like I had made much of a point but eventually mom understood I would still have to work with adversity to get stuff done.
Before I left I also spoke to my father. Then I got the bags on my bike and rode to the apartment through Golden Gate Park. My friend was there and I made her coffee. She piled up a giant amount of stuff and we got it in the car and we drove to the house in Alameda. Inside I quietly gave hugs and was quietly relieved.
There was coffee and I sat on the floor and quietly enjoyed myself. Eventually there were “eggs“ as a treasure hunt. Paper cut out eggs contained clues to find new eggs which would have clues in them. While that was happening I hid eggs in the backyard. The egg hunt happened twice.
Later I went on two quiet bike rides. When I returned there were more egg games but my friend took me home. She and I spoke in the car and I listed out things to do, like studying, where to live and a bunch of other stuff. The conversation spread out over our arrival at the apartment. We sat in the kitchen. She didn’t seem to know how long she would be at her sister’s house.
When we were done talking I walked around looking at stuff. At one point we sat in the front room.
This is an occasional series chronicling my life. This Notebook Analysis series is meant to be contemporaneous piece developed as an agglomeration of my notebook pages. In each of these posts I used my notes to develop my recent thoughts.
