I found an email from a girlfriend I broke
up with as I was getting ready to fly to China.
She said that she wanted to get in touch
but didn’t seem to know what to say. The
correspondence indicates that we made our farewells properly but she clearly
didn’t believe that this is the case and was utterly confused over what to
say. She then indicated that she didn’t
really want to take me for granted.
One thing she said I found poetic—that
the other side of a certain crossing seemed like a pit that she didn’t want to
visit. She had had a farewell party for
me and related some of the bits over who had not been able to come—and who
missed me. She expressed love for me and
for our times together. She indicated
that our last day or so together may have only been made sweet by my imminent
departure. However, she also indicated
that she may have been making more out of things than was warranted.
The emails closing words were of the
phrase she kept repeating to herself to allow me to go.
This Notebook Analysis is part of retrospective
of my life taken from emails that I sent or received on the First of the
Month.
